Let me ask you... when's the last time you really put yourself first?
I mean truly prioritized your happiness, your desires, your needs before everyone else?
And, if you have, were you able to do it without massive guilt?
I struggled with this for most of my adult life. I felt selfish if I 'asserted' my own needs. I avoided confrontation at all costs, I was the ultimate people pleaser, and worked to fit in rather then honor myself, all in a desperate attempt to be liked, loved, and accepted. And, I had a belief (as many of us have been programmed to believe) that to be accepted and to feel loved, I had to bend and flow to the needs and desires of everyone else.
This is the way so many women go through life. We have been taught to put ourselves last. To be quiet, meek, selfless, to sacrifice, to put ourselves last. We live this way until we finally hit a tipping point where we realize we have totally disappeared from our own lives. That we have morphed, bent, contorted, stretched to be everything for everyone else that we've lost ourselves.
This was where my own spiritual journey began. One day I looked in the mirror and realized that I didn't even know who I was anymore. I felt like a shell, a shadow, going through the motions of life, but not really living. I had pretty debilitating anxiety that seemed to control my life. I was parenting my young daughter, taking care of my terminally ill mother, working, and managing my household. I was in a job I hated, but had accepted as 'good enough.' My marriage was rocky. I felt like I was drowning. I was lost and their was an emptiness inside me.
And, to say the least, there was no joy.
I had no idea what brought me joy. I was desperately desiring to feel joy, happiness, fulfillment, passion, purpose in my life and I kept looking outside myself to find it. But, what I quickly learned was to truly find, cultivate, and feel true joy I had to journey back to myself.
True joy comes from within!
To experience real, lasting joy you get to claim space in your own life. You get to prioritize your own needs, your own desires, your own wants!
You get to choose you!
You get to reconnect to yourself. Create and nurture a relationship with yourself. Show yourself that you honor, value, and believe you are worthy of taking up space.
And, I'll be honest, it can be an uncomfortable process at first. Whenever you step out of your comfort zone, when you start pushing against the edges of the status quo, when you start to put yourself in the equation of your own life in a way that the people in your life aren't used to, it will likely ruffle some feathers.
That's okay! Allow the discomfort to be there. It's a necessary step in reclaiming your life. Then start to get curious. Start tuning into your own inner knowing, your own intuition, your highest Soul Self and ask, "what do I want? What would make me happy? What lights me up? What would fill me with joy?
Start making your relationship to yourself your top priority.
Start speaking up about what you want, what you need. And, start intentionally and consciously doing things every single day that fill you up, that make you happy. Start getting selfish about feeling good!
This is how you begin to create true, lasting joy... by showing yourself you believe in your own worth and love yourself. By choosing you. By beginning to believe that your happiness, your desires, your wants, your needs, matter just as much as anyone else's.
And, start to consider your wants, desires, and need every single day and when making any decisions. Before saying 'yes' to others, ask yourself, "is this honoring and loving to me? Will this bring me joy and feel good to do? Does this feel in alignment to my truth and highest self?"
So, I invite you to start getting curious. How often are you prioritizing yourself in your life? Pull out your journal and free write on these questions:
1. What would my life look life if I prioritized my own happiness?
2. What would I do differently then I am doing now?
3. How can I bring more joy into my life?
4. What do I really want?
5. What is the little voice inside of me whispering to me? What do I really desire?
6. And, what stories, resistance, or beliefs come up when I start considering prioritizing myself in my life?
Tell me where you are struggling most to take up space in your life. What stories or resistance come up for you when you think about prioritizing your own happiness?
And, download my free guide, TOP 10 TIPS TO RECLAIM YOUR LIFE to start creating your best life now!
so much love and light to you,
Shaina
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