“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” Bréne Brown
I used to stand so far outside my story so ashamed about what it meant about me that I was constantly hustling to feel worthy, to feel lovable, and to try and “fit in.”
It was exhausting and it was lonely.
And, it never worked!
It was only when I decided that I was not going to let my history, my story, define me that I was able to take my power back.
I realized that I get to choose whether or not I was going to live forever burdened by the shame of it or if I was going to own the facts about my history, but without letting those facts define who I was as a person or hold any weight on whether or not it meant I had worth as a human being.
You see... our pasts, our stories, are only significant because of the meaning we choose to give them.
When I finally decided to own my story I was able to create a new meaning for myself. No longer was I the unworthy, forever damaged, and unlovable person that had to always try so hard to be “good enough.”
No, I got to choose how I let it define me. I got to rewrite the ending of my story…
I got to see the struggles and the traumas that I have been through as gifts. They have allowed me to be strong, resilient, compassionate, and passionate about supporting others who I know have suffered too. They have brought me to my calling of supporting others to no longer be victims to their past and their stories so that they can truly reclaim their lives and themselves again from a place of true compassion and understanding.
I’m now so grateful for all that I have been through and truly see it as a blessing.
What a truly miraculous, life changing experience it was to release all the shame and own my story and who I am with compassion and love!
Are you still hustling to prove your worth? Or, are you ready to walk inside your story and OWN it?
If you’re ready to take your power back learn my 3 step process to write a new amazing ending to your story!
3 Steps to Owning Your Story
What is your story?
What is a story from your past that causes you the most shame? For me, it was the fact that both my parents were addicts. As a baby, my mom left me because she was addicted to heroin and couldn’t take care of me anymore. This caused me a deep, deep level of shame and a belief at my core that I was unlovable, not good enough, and damaged goods. I could never possibly tell anyone about this because then they would know the “truth” about me. They would know that I was fundamentally flawed!
This is the first part of owning your story-- acknowledging it and writing it down. There is power in writing. When we put pen to paper and write our truth we start to take some of OUR power back. It’s when we hold it in, hide it, let it fester, that these stories end up controlling our lives.
So, grab a pen, some paper, and acknowledge your shame story. Write it down.
What’s True?
How much of your story is fact and how much have you created for yourself? What parts of your story are you allowing to define you? The shame comes not by the truth of our past, but by the meaning we’ve created about it.
It’s a fact that my mom left me when I was a baby because she was addicted to heroin and couldn’t take care of me.
The meaning I created was that because of that I am unlovable, unworthy, and deeply damaged.
Do you see how we do that? We are always trying to make meaning of the things that have happened during our lives and we often come to the conclusion that we’re the reason bad things happened. We take it personally, and use the facts to define ourselves in a negative way.
It’s time to look at your story and piece apart what’s true and what’s not. What are the facts and what is the meaning you created around those facts. When we’re able to see the difference here and separate the facts from the story, that’s when we’re empowered to create a new story. To create new meaning.
Find The Gift in Your Story
You get to choose what your story means! Why not find the beauty and gift in it? What about your past has allowed you to be who you are today? What gift did your past give you?
I realized that my story allowed me to know what deep shame feels like, it allowed me to be more understanding and compassionate for people (because we all have stories), it allowed me to be the strong and resilient. It allowed me to learn that self-love is the key to my worthiness and allowed me the ability to let go of needing to be liked and approved of by everyone else because I love and approved of myself. And, it ultimately led me to be incredibly passionate about supporting women in owning their stories and taking back their power so that they can love themselves and create their lives on purpose!
What is the gift in your story?