This Is How Your Life Becomes Awesome

No matter what your reality looks like right now, a job you hate, a mean boss, a partner who doesn't see or appreciate you, tons of self-doubt, tons of fear, whatever it is, it doesn't have to remain your reality.

That's right you're not a victim to your circumstances. This took me a long time to realize. It actually was so outside my realm of awareness for most of my life. I just assumed that I had to settle for the life I was dealt and I should just appreciate it and make the best of it. Which ended up making me feel totally unfulfilled, helpless to make any changes in my life, and continuing to search for happiness and contentment outside of myself.

Most of my life, I had been operating from a state of total anxiety, self-doubt, and fear.  I had and anxiety and panic attacks that lead me to have 3 EKG's over several years (I was sure something was wrong with my heart), and at one point a total breakdown. I feared everything. I was afraid people didn't like me. I was afraid I wasn't good enough at my job at anything. I was afraid of airplanes (I didn't fly for 8 years). I afraid of any type of risk, preferring safety and security over happiness and fulfillment. I deeply feared that people would judge me or reject me, so I conformed, I "fit in" rather then honored or explored my own uniqueness and authentic expression of me. Because of my history, I always feared that if people really got to know me then they would find out I was damaged good, I felt so ashamed of my past. Deep down I didn't feel loveable or worthy, so I strived desperately to be accepted by always putting everyone else first, avoiding conflict, and people pleasing up the wazoo, totally losing myself in the process. I was living so small. I was living in the shadows. I was comfortable, but not happy.

And, I didn't know there was another way to live. I didn't know I had the power to change it all. I was fully in victim consciousness.

Then through my process of awakening, I found out that I actually did have the power to change my circumstances. That I was responsible for my reality and I had complete control over how I chose to perceive my life. I had the ability to change my vibration and energy. I had the ability to change my thoughts. Well, that was exciting!  Could it be true?  It was definitely worth exploring and finding out! Yes, Yes, it absolutely does work!  It works amazingly!! My life has changed dramatically in the most amazing ways.  I'm happy to say that I no longer live with any anxiety.  I now love myself so deeply and speak up about my needs, desires, wants, and I am met with support and honor.  My relationship with my husband has totally transformed.  My husband totally transformed, as he saw my growth and expansion and how happy and good I felt, it gave him permission to honor himself and take responsibility for his life.  He is now so happy and our relationship is much deeper, more connected, and feels amazing.  I have attracted in the most amazing, soul-aligned friends, and the friends I already had have become even better.  And, through believing in myself and taking a huge risk I left my job and pursued my passion and purpose in life becoming a coach and supporting women in doing this most amazing and liberating work!  I went from pretty debilitating anxiety, complete lack of self-love and worth, tons of fear to freedom, passion, purpose, joy, confidence, and so much love!!!

And, it all started by taking radical responsibility. Nobody but you has the power to free you. Nobody but you is in your head choosing your perceptions, choosing your thoughts, how you feel, how you act, or the decisions you make.

You are not a victim of your life! Isn't that awesome? I know this because my life completely changed when I took full responsibility for it.

That's the pre-step... realizing that you're not a victim and that you always have a choice of how you're living your life. That doesn't mean that you have complete control over everything that happens, but you do have complete control over how you respond; your perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, decisions, and actions.

And, you have more control then you may realize about what shows up or doesn't show up in your life. Your vibration attracts to you that which you're a match too. So, if you're vibrating with a ton of fear, self-doubt, anxiety, and lack of self-love then you're going to attract in more experiences that create those same feelings. And, no shame or self-judgment here, it's all good if that's where you are.... this gets to be your beautiful opportunity to learn a new way. It took me 30 years to figure it out! It's never too late and it's so worth it!

So, without further ado.....

Your 3 Steps to Going from Victim to Creator

1. Be Love

I know, I know....that sounds corny, right? Cliché even. But, embodying a vibration of love is so powerful! It's a total game changer. When you start to embody love as your frequency, as your way of being and operating in the world, everything in your world changes. It starts with a deep self love (check out this video to learn a powerful tool to cultivate self-love). And then you can choose to send that love out~~ send love to the boss who is mean, the partner that doesn't see you. Send love to that part of you that feels all that fear and self-doubt, that part of you is really just your inner child crying out for attention, support, and love. Send love out to all of the people, the situations, the events, and the circumstances of your life. Send love to all of it! The more love you feel and the more love you send out the more magnificent and magical your life becomes. Your external world is a reflection of your internal state. Make embodying love your primary state of being and your world will reflect that shift! I am proof that choosing love works, my relationships have shifted in totally surprising and unexpected ways (positively), I've experienced so many synchronicities and awesome magic entering my life because I've chosen to embody and spread the love. And, I just feel so good!

2. Shift Your Focus

Instead of focusing on all that you dislike about your life. Let's take the mean boss for example.... allowing yourself to get stressed out and angry before you even encounter them in the morning. Or, worrying about what other people are thinking of you and playing out in your head over and over again if whether what you had said sounded stupid, did you come off as too much, too opinionated, too different, and you just know they are totally judging you. We tend to way over focus on all our problems, ruminating on all our worries, fears, doubts, etc... which only attracts more of that same energy and experiences into your life. Imagine what would happen if you started to shift your focus? What if you focused on all the areas of your job that you did like (there is always something)? What if you started to spend more time imagining and thinking about the kind of boss you would love to work for? What if instead of berating and judging yourself for whatever you think you may have done wrong you loved yourself instead, you forgave yourself your mistakes, you treated yourself like you would your best friend or your own children? What you focus on grows, so if you choose to shift your focus on all that you have to appreciate about your life, all that you are grateful for, all that you do want (rather then all that you don't), and be and spread love... BOOM! Your life is going to explode in goodness.

3. Get Into The Feeling

How you feel is everything. Most people spend so much of their life unconsciously sitting in feelings of resentment, stress, anxiety, and fear. These feelings underlie all of their decisions, thoughts, actions, and beliefs. And, in moments of joy or gratitude they experience it only briefly before falling back into the baseline state of stress, anxiety, and fear. When you start to intentionally and consciously shift your focus into gratitude, appreciation, joy, love, it's so important to really allow yourself to feel it. Use your breath, use your imagination to expand these feelings of appreciation, joy, and love.  Imagine all that you do desires, see it in your mind's eye with so much detail and really feel what that would be like.  Experience the feelings now as if it's already true.  And, breath it in.  Breath deeply as you intentional expand those amazing feelings, allowing them to fully consume you and radiate out of your body.  Do this for 5-10 minutes a morning right when you wake up and it will completely shift your vibration.  And, then continue to find reasons all throughout your day to feel good, to cultivate appreciation, gratitude, and joy.

There you have it, {{ subscriber.first_name }}! 3 really powerful ways to start creating your life on purpose!  You can have, be, do, and experience anything that you desire.  And, the more you practice these 3 tools of embodying love, shifting your focus, and changing your feeling state, the more awesome your life will become.  It all starts with taking radical responsibility for your life and understanding that you have the ability and power to change it! You're that incredible!

Want to take this a step further??  On Thursday, July 9th, at 7pm pst, I'm hosting a virtual workshop, Create Your Best Life Now!  I'm going to go much deeper, supporting you in getting really clear on where you are, and where you want to go, and how to get there!  It's going to be fun, deep, and inspirational.  Here's the link to learn more and register!

Hope to see you there!

with love,

Shaina

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When you're ready here's a few amazing ways to get supported by me and create your best life NOW...

1. Get coached by me through my signature 3 month program, Her Life Reclaimed. Click here to connect and explore what's possible when you choose you and take radical responsibility for creating your best life now and stepping into your next level self!

2. Join the Facebook Group, Woman Rising, for live teachings​, tons of support, and a community of awesome like-minded women.

3. GRAB YOUR COPY OF THE TOP 10 TIPS TO CREATING YOUR BEST LIFE, HERE.

4. Follow me on Instagram for weekly manifestation tips, inspiration, and a whole lotta love!

Why “I'm fine” doesn't really work

My friend and I were recently talking about our tendency to acknowledge when things feel hard, but to gloss over them.  To use our natural optimistic, glass half-full attitude to focus on the good things, the things we are grateful for as a way to feel better. She said she has known this stuff was lurking within her, but she is a positive person and wanted to keep her head up and focus on all the good stuff she had going for her.  She thought acknowledging it was there was enough. “Yeah, things are hard, but I’m fine.” We all do that, right? I’m fine, It’s fine. Look at all the the things I have to be grateful for, I don’t need to dwell on these hard things. I’m fine. Well, she discovered, as we all have, that glossing over the “hard stuff” and focusing on the good doesn’t make those feelings go away.  They just linger in the background. This little cloud falling you around. Which means that the good stuff, the things we are grateful for and that make us happy will always have that little cloud falling them around creating a darkness over even the stuff that lights us up. If we don’t take the time to not just acknowledge the feelings, but actually allow ourselves to feel and explore them they will continue to haunt us. We need to get curious.

Why do I feel so upset?  What feels so hard? Why do I think I am feeling this way?  Why did that circumstance impact me so deeply? What can I learn from this?

I understand the fear that if you start to pry it open a bit, if you start to get curious, the floodgates will open wide up and swallow you whole.  That had been my fear for a long time. I had been living on “I’m fine” for so long, but knowing that there was a lot of things lurking below the surface that felt so heavy.  If I start to check those things out, if I start to feel what I have been pushing down and away for so long, will it consume me completely? I know I spent years trying not to acknowledge the pain of my experiences because I thought if I let myself go there it may be so big I will get lost in it.  But, I have come to realize that by avoiding it it still consumes us, but in more subtle and covert ways. The pain won’t go away until we address it.

What we resist persists!

We need to acknowledge the difficulties, we need to make space to feel whatever is really there in that moment, but not get so caught up in it that we spiral down and get stuck in the mucky darkness. That’s why it is important to not go at it all alone, whether that be a therapist, a coach, or a friend you can trust. They can help you navigate the darker waters, holding your hand and making sure you don’t fall so deeply in that you aren’t able to come back out.

And, trust me, although it is scary, we can’t stay in the “I’m fine” mode forever. Whether or not you want it, the feelings will eventually come to the surface. And, they will continue to be a cloud looming over all your experiences until you do finally decide to shine a light into the dark recesses of your soul.

Through my experience I have found that by letting myself be in the discomfort with an open heart and really allowing whatever is there to be there, I have come out the other end feeling stronger, more empowered, and wiser.  I have shed light on my darkness. I now have a better understanding of how I got to be where I am. I have a better understanding of I why I lost faith in my worthiness, my deservedness for all that I desire. How my past has shaped the way I think and live my life now.  How our culture, our family, the media influence and program us to “be” a certain way. It is liberating when we shed light on all of this because then we get to make more conscious, intentional choices. Once we explore the darkness and become aware of our limiting core beliefs and how they manifested, we take back control.  We can make positive shifts, we can choose to see things differently now that we have more understanding of our patterns and subconscious blocks.

We get our power back! Now, that is something to be grateful for!