Have you ever said that to yourself... "why's this happening again?"
Why do I keep attracting toxic partners?
The wrong kind of person?
Mean bosses?
Friends that end up making me feel like crap?
Money that keeps going out as soon as it comes?
Why is my life always so hard?
What do I keep struggling?
Why am I so unlucky?
I SO get it because I used to think a lot of those same things too and so many more. I bet you've read all the books, listened to the podcasts, watched the Ted talks and Youtube clips. You're doing the yoga and meditation. So, why do you keep experiencing the same old things over and over again?
Here's the deal.... until you uncover the old programming and beliefs that are living underneath the surface, in your subconscious mind, and do the work to reprogram them, you will continue to see the same patterns play out again and again in your life.
No matter how many books you read, podcasts you listen to, or Ted talks you watch, nothing will change until you start to dive deep and do the work.
Well, that's not totally true.... you will probably experience a little bit of a shift. At the beginning of my journey, when I finally hit a point where I knew something had to change because I was feeling so lost, so empty, when I had completely lost myself I began to explore in earnest yoga and meditation. I began reading all the books, and following some amazing spiritual teachers, and I did experience shifts. I did start to feel a little bit better. I started to feel a little bit lighter. I began to be able to respond to my circumstance better rather then always be in reaction. I began to decrease my anxiety and stress levels. And, all of those things were so amazing and an absolute shift in the right direction. But, I was still feeling lost. My relationship to my husband was still not great. I still didn't believe or see myself ever being able to do anything other then the administrative, low level jobs I had done. I was still searching for more meaning and purpose in my life. I was still searching for a deep, lasting joy.
Want to know why?
Here's why..... (there's 2 main parts to this answer)
1.
No amount of reading, listening, and watching of spiritual truths will ever create the change you desire. You actually have to integrate and implement the teachings to see the differences. I spent a few too many years (I must confess) reading all of these books like novels, thinking, "yes, yes, this all makes sense. I totally believe this! I totally resonate with this!" And, then I would put the book down and do nothing about it. Sound familiar? If you want to experience positive shifts in your life you have to actually do the work!
2.
Which brings me to the next point... as soon as I started doing the deep work, that's when my life began to really change. To really create changes in your life you have to start changing the subconscious beliefs that have been directing your life forever. This is the work!! And, it all starts with awareness. It all starts with paying attention to your thoughts. What are the stories that you tell yourself day in and day out? What are the beliefs that are running through your mind just below the surface all day long.
Some of mine were, "I'm just not smart enough to be really successful. It's better to be practical and comfortable then to take risks and maybe fail. Money is hard and I've never made good money so I never will. Making friends is hard. I'm just not interesting enough or have enough to contribute to attract friends. I don't want to look stupid or be judged so I'd rather hangout in the background and not say much. If I speak up, I'll sound dumb. Life is hard. I should just be grateful for what I have. I'm selfish for wanting more. Settling is safe."
Any of those sound familiar?
So, no wonder I was stuck in a job I hated, struggled to make friends that I felt really saw me or liked me, couldn't support myself financially, was quiet, unsatisfied, unhappy, and full of self-doubt and fear. But, when I started to look at those stories and create new empowering stories that's when my life really changed! That's when I took a huge risk and bet on me and left all the jobs and decided to be a coach (which was the best decision ever), that's when I began my self-love journey and started showing up in life as my real, authentic self and effortlessly attracted in the most amazing friends who really got me (duh, I was actually letting them see me), that's when I started to dream big and make the dreams a reality!
So, I'm willing to bet that you have your fair share of beliefs running the show of your life that are responsible for those same damn patterns showing up again an again.
If you're ready to create your best life now then I invite you to start getting really familiar with the stories or beliefs that have been steering the ship thus far. Take back your power. Let me share this really easy tip that I have all my clients do right away that will support you in uncovering these stories.
Set a timer on your phone for every hour or two. It can have a simple message like, "how am I feeling? What are my thoughts?"
And, just become the non judgmental observer. Practice noticing with so much love and compassion for yourself as you become witness to your stories. No need to add blame and judgment on top of it!
This is the first step, Awareness. You can't change what you're not aware of.
Gaining the awareness is key and once you're aware you get the awesome opportunity of releasing and creating new self-loving and empowering stories to replace those worn out ones (more on that step coming soon!).
Let me know how this supports you. Comment below and tell what stories and beliefs are you ready to let go?
so much love to you,
Shaina
p.s. I have an exciting FREE offer that will support you in shifting 7 of the biggest blocks to your freedom.
Tapping into Freedom, is a FREE 7 day journey to radical self-love, acceptance, confidence, and your freedom.