Over the past couple of years I have found myself riding the wave of a big life decision. Should I choose this or should I choose that? Do I want to take the well trodden path or forge my own path? Do I want to prioritize safety and security or do I want to venture into the wild unknown of my Soul’s deepest longing? Is this a sign from the Universe that I’m supposed to choose this or is that a sign that I’m supposed to choose that.
At times, I feel like I can pull my hair out flip flopping from one direction to the other. Big life decisions are so daunting. We want to make the “right” decision. We fear that to choose one, we must not choose the other. It can be easy (at least for me) to feel like I am swirling in chaos trying to grasp for any sense of clarity and control.
Sound familiar to you or is it just me? 🙂
This process is so humbling. It has required me to surrender. And, when I feel like I have surrendered, then I am called to surrender even more. It has shown me the need to really examine my beliefs and ideas about life and myself. What do I believe to be true about life? What do I believe to be true about myself and my own capabilities? Why am I taking it all so seriously? Where am I limiting myself and trying to control?
This is the work and I wanted to share with you 4 things I have come to understand even more deeply through this process.
First, It’s so easy to get caught up in an either/or mentality. If I choose this then I can’t have that. It creates this false feeling of limitation. It’s one or the other, which makes choosing so much more stressful. The other day I woke up and remembered “both/and.” I get to live a “both/and” life. It’s not one or the other, it gets to be both. What had felt like an incredibly stressful choice to make became no choice at all. It gets to be both. This is such a liberating realization. I don’t have to sacrifice one to have the other, I get to create something new by combining both desires into something unique and perfect for me. The stress melted away and I began to feel something new… excitement!
Second, there are no wrong choices. We put so much pressure on making the “right” choice, of not wanting to regret our choices. But, the truth is there aren’t really any wrong choices. They are all part of our journey of expansion and awakening. They are all opportunities to grow and learn and to choose again, if necessary. What if we could give ourselves a little grace and add a little playfulness to it? We don’t have to take life so seriously. One decision doesn’t have to trap us for the rest of our lives. We can always pivot. We always get to learn what worked, what didn’t work, what we liked, what we didn’t, and make a new choice. Or maybe it will be the very best choice and things will work out grandly! Doesn’t really matter. No need for all the pressure.
Third, one of the scariest places to settle in is the Void. The great unknown, the nothingness, the womb of the divine mother. It’s terrifying! It’s also the space of infinite potential and possibility. It takes tremendous courage to not be lured back into the safety and security of the familiar. It takes faith to trust that the path will become clear to you in perfect, divine timing. It takes bravery to stay true to the inklings of your Soul’s desire even when it’s not clear, especially when it takes you off the beaten path. But, remember… both/and. You can have both safety and walk the path of the wild unknown. You can choose something that helps you feel secure while working towards a deeper desire that feels risky. And, even as I hold both, there have been so many times that I have not felt strong enough to rest in the Void or to forge my own path. To be honest, it is something I work with everyday. But, my last point below is what keeps me going.
Fourth, your tribe is everything! I truly do not think I would be continuing to forge my own path if I did not have the amazing humans in my life that cheer me on and help me remember who I really am and what I am capable of. They remind me when I am feeling scared, that it’s all good, that no matter what I am going to be okay. They remind me to lean into Spirit to guide me, to surrender to the love and support that is always all around me. They have patience with me when I flip flop around and don’t know what the heck I’m doing. They give me pep talks when I forget why I have chosen to live a life outside the status quo and they encourage me when I am on fire and full of inspiration. Our people are everything and when we are forging our own unique path it is essential to have a tribe that gets you, encourages you, and lifts you up!
Bottom line, when we are making a big life decision or attempting to forge our own path, it takes courage! Remember you can choose “both/and” instead of “either/or.” Remember there’s no need to stress too much on making the right choice because it’s all information and feedback. And lastly, build your tribe, your tribe is EVERYTHING!
Whether you are in this phase of life right now or not, I hope these words will find you when they are most needed. And, I hope you know that I am here to be part of your tribe and we get to walk this path together- encouraging one another, holding one another, reminding one another who we really are and what we are capable of!
With so much love and blessing!
TWO EXCITING UPDATES:
I am hosting a Women’s Sacred Circle this month. This monthly women's gathering is a sacred and ceremonial space where we get to explore the awakening of our divine feminine energy and our Soul's highest potential. This is a safe, soul-led and heart-guided circle in which all parts of you are welcome. In sisterhood we heal. In sisterhood we remember. In sisterhood we rise. In sisterhood we are celebrated. This is your soul sanctuary, a place of belonging, compassion, and love.
Join us in March to transmute fear into freedom. We will uncover and tend to the parts that are feeling small and fearful and with love transmute them into Divine creative energy as we blossom open to greater truths of deepest longings and desire. Check out the QR code to get tickets.
The Spiritual Nerds Podcast is up and available! You can find it wherever you listen to your podcasts. It's our intention to have honest, vulnerable conversations about life, the path of awakening, and all things spirituality. We hope to become part of your tribe as we all walk this path together and support each other's spiritual growth and expansion.
