As women we have been conditioned from a very young age to be 'good girls'. And, being a “good girl” means you’re meek, quiet, reserved, polite, giving of yourself, you do what you’re told, you’re nice, selfless, and don’t take up too much space.
How dare the good girl be loud and bold.
How dare the good girl claim her desires and dreams with passion and enthusiasm.
How dare the good girl outshine anyone.
How dare the good girl put herself first.
Women, as a collective, have been shamed for far too long for pushing against the confines of the good girl box we have been shoved into for millennium.
And, it’s my mission to lead a revolution of women in taking back their power, reclaiming their lives, and unapologetically stepping into who they truly are with confidence.
It’s time to break out of the box!
So, Let me ask you…
If you weren’t afraid of what other people would think, say, or do what would you do?
How are you pleasing others and playing the role of 'good girl' in your life?
It’s time to let go of the forced confines of the “good girl” identity! It’s time to boldly let go of anyone else’s opinions, or what they might think or say about you and proudly own who you are and what you want from life!
So, if you’re ready here are 3 ways to kick the 'good girl' to the curb and take back your power!
Don’t Dim Your Light For Anyone
We tend to not want to shine too brightly in fear that we might make someone else feel bad. F that! I actually did experience this in my own life when a friend became really uncomfortable with my personal growth and expansion and the fact that I was taking big actions towards my dreams. And, instead of shrinking back down to ease her discomfort, I lovingly held space for her to share her feelings about it. I let her have her feelings without making it my responsibility to make her feel better. I didn’t allow myself to feel shame or guilt because my bigness was making her feel uncomfortable and here’s why. Because I was living big and taking huge leaps to follow my dreams and desires, I helped shine a light on her own complacency and dissatisfaction in her own life, and although that was uncomfortable for her, it also allowed her to see what was possible. It gave her permission and inspiration to make her own big changes, which she did! Had I shrunk down in order for her to not have to confront her own dissatisfaction it would have been a HUGE disservice to both of us.
Own What You Want Loudly and Proudly
This is your one life in this human form! You came here to experience life to the fullest. You came here to live big, feel tremendous joy, and create a beautiful life, so own it! I was talking to a woman today who’s a part of my monthly women’s group and she shared with me that she felt embarrassed in our last group when she spoke passionately about her biggest desire. She felt like it wasn’t okay to be proud or passionate about something. It wasn’t okay to take up space in that way. Women are supposed to live quietly, satisfied with their lot in life, and tending to the needs of others. I call bs on all of that! Own what you want! Be an example to all the other women in the world who have desires, but are too afraid to speak them out loud. Let them see what is possible! You are worthy and deserving of all that you desire and it’s okay to have desires! It’s okay to be passionate about life and what you want. Own it!
No More People Pleasing
It’s time to stop taking care of everyone else’s needs, putting everyone else first, and god forbid we make someone upset with us or think badly about us for not doing what they want. We’ve been so indoctrinated to please, please, please. But, if our cup isn’t full, how can we possibly serve those around us? What it will end up doing is breeding resentment and animosity for the people who seem to take, take, take. But, girl you have to stop giving, giving, giving. Stop giving if it means sacrificing yourself and depleting yourself. And, understand, people pleasing really stems from a place of fear- fear of not being liked, fear of being judged, fear of being rejected. We are hardwired for connection and belonging, but it seems that somewhere along the way we have mistaken that by pleasing others it means we’ll be liked. And, being liked isn’t the goal! Being liked doesn’t create connection and true belonging. Being seen does! And, if you’re a people pleaser you’re not truly being seen.
I would love to hear from you, let me know how the 'good girl' shows up in your life? Tell me what you would do, if you weren't afraid of what other people would think, say, or feel about your deepest desires?
with so much love to you,
Shaina
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